Sunny Days
by Wolfin
Summary: Meyrin's thoughts on one Athrun Zala. SPOILER FOR GUNDAM SEED DESTINY 46


**Author's Note: WARNING: SPOILER FOR GUNDAM SEED DESTINY EPISODE 46**

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Okay. Meyrin's thoughts about Athrun as she goes shopping with Athrun, Kira, and Lacus on the Moon'sneutral colony, Copernicus. And if I'm wrong and there are no sunny days there, then I apologize.

* * *

**Sunny Days**

-and sometimes, sometimes Meyrin hates sunny days. Hates the way the sun seems to laugh and seems to say LIFE IS GOOD!With the three exclamation marks. Because, she knows, that it isn't always like that.

* * *

When she first saw him, how handsome and impeccable he looked had stuck in her head. She had left it at that. Then...even she didn't know how she had found out. But bits of his personality slowly made themselves known to her. She noticed how he always pushed back his hair whenever he was thinking about anything. He was a gentleman, she saw that too. His past achievments had just been an added bonus, and she thought of them with pride whenever she did, that (her) ATHRUN had done that. But mostly, it was the brilliance of his eyes that stayed in her mind, the smile he'd passed her way once taking her breath her away whenever it came to mind. Butterflies chased each other into a dizzying circle inside her stomach as he helped her one day. All Meyrin could think about...it started or ended with him. The way her sister had acted with him made her sick, and she always felt tears at the thought of how beautiful her sister was compared to her own self. No wonder he would never notice her.

And yet...it had been her room he'd come inside to hide. Meyrin had felt her lips tingle long after he'd drawn his hand away, but once she'd found out he was in trouble...Her brain snapped to attention, and every diversionary tactic she'd ever read about ran around in her mind. Only the smallest sense of shame and sorrow had bothered her when she had shed her clothes IN FRONT OF HIM, only _ohmyGodhemustdisgustedbyme_ having passed through her mind. When the door had closed, she felt numbness.

_WhatamIdoinghowcouldI-_

'Thank You.'

But when she'd heard that, felt the softness of her robe and the warmth of his hand on her shivering figure...she knew that she was in too deep. She'd been in too deep the first day she'd laid eyes on him, and she couldn't turn back now. She'd grabbed his ankle in desperation, because her throat didn't seem to work.

She'd driven faster than she ever did, and, in retrospect that must have tipped off that Rey za Burrel. When they'd reached the Gouf, she didn't know what she was going to do after this. Would she be put into prison?

Then the shooting had started, him protecting her, and she had seen him stretch his hand out towards her...she had taken it, putting all her trust in those green eyes. And when the Gouf had exploded, she had grabbed him, not wanting to let go, ever.

When she'd come to, and talked with the nice girl with brown hair, she'd learned that he was in a coma. Her stomach had turned to lead and, surprising both of them, she'd grasped Miriallia Haww's arm, her voice shaking with tears, gasping out whether he would be okay.

'Is- he'll li- he's not going to-'

And Miriallia had calmed her down, but not before the tears had escaped, streaming down her face.

'He'll be fine, don't worry, don't cry like that...'

As a result of her sobbing, she'd gotten a headache and couldn't sleep the whole night, paying for it the next morning.

Then...once again, the fact she even knew, shocked her as she found out that he had someone else. Another girl. He loved someone else and...hadn't she known that? Hadn't she known that he was already 'engaged' to Lacus Clyne? But the girl he loved wasn't Lacus Clyne-sama. It was Orb's Representative, Cagalli Yula Athha.

It hadn't hurt. Not that much, when she had gotten a proper grip on herself. Not as much as when he'd suggested that she stay in Orb. That had been too much- what would she do there? Leave him to go into battle and then just wait for him to come back and live happily ever after with someone else? He was all she had in the world, didn't he UNDERSTAND? She could never go back to her land, her sister probably despised her, she had given up EVERYTHING for him and- and then he'd said he understood. Her heart stopped pounding and she reprimanded herself for her public display of weakness.

He went out to fight, afterwards. And she could only stand and watch as she let him go in his suit, hoping that it hadn't been the last time she would ever see him. She wished with all her heart that she had told him how much she cared about him...but she hadn't. She hadn't told him because she knew that he would reject her as gently as he could, telling her that he had someone else. And that would be too much.

She'd waited, agonizing about that fact as her heart jumped with every move he made in his mobile suit, all the while feeling that distinct pride that it was (her) ATHRUN who was out there.

When he'd fallen, she had turned and fled to the hangar, her panic adding to her speed as she ran faster than she ever had in her life. The blood spilling from his wounds struck her heart and she felt like bursting into tears, and

_IfhediesI'llkillmyselfohGodpleasedon'tleaveme-_

And he didn't. He was still there and she was there for him, she told herself, no matter who he loved. Because when she thought he was going to die, she had frantically prayed,

_Please let him love whoever he wants to, let him hate me but PLEASE GOD DON'T LET HIM DIE-_

and she had gotten her prayer granted and that had been enough. She firmly told herself over and over, and she thanked God and...

Then...the Plants had been attacked. With hollow feeling she'd gone to sleep that night, knowing that someone had attacked her homeland and she felt anger, and hated her position of not being able to go out and fight head-on with the monsters who had destroyed so many of her people.

When The Representative Athha had told her to take care of him, she hadn't known what to say. _I will? I won't leave him, ever?_ Or,_ I do what I can, but he'll never see me, he'll only see you?_

* * *

She's standing, holding a couple of bags. Lacus-sama, and Athrun's Friend Kira are window shopping, and he's staring at nothing.

Meyrin feels a tug at her skirt and looks down to see a small boy with light brown hair, big blue eyes and a solemn expression asking, "Exthcuze me, mith." He had a lisp as well. Bending down, she smiles softly at him and asks back, "Yes?" He fidgets, clearly trying not to cry and Meyrin can't help but feel motherly towards him. It's always like that, whenever she sees children.

"I can't find my mum."

"What does she look like?"

The cute little boy frowns slightly as he thinks, and Meyrin feels an urge to cuddle him. "She hath bwown hair and ith wearing a bwoo dwess."

Straightening up, Meyrin scans the crowd of people, and spots a pretty woman donned with a blue sundress calling out, "John? Johnny!"

"Is your name Johnny?"

The little brown head bobs up and down, teary sapphire eyes gazing into her own. She can't help herself, and pecks his hair lightly before pointing in his mother's direction. "Is that her, Johnny?"

She's rewarded by the look in his big blue eyes that lower shyly as he says, "Thank you, mith!" before bounding into his mother's arms. She holds him close and he points in Meyrin's direction. The woman smiles gratefully at her, nodding. Meyrin waves back, feeling that something was going right for once.

Turning around, and catching emerald eyes, she sees that he has a small grin on his face fully directed her. A genuine smile, not hurried or polite or helpful, but a true smile that lights up his face like no other thing. Her heart stops for a split second and a blush rises up as she looks away hurriedly, reminding herselfthat he is not hers and that she is only taking care of him. But she can't stop her lips from quirking up and feeling that maybe, just maybe, the Sun has a point after all.


End file.
